My heroes have been many different people over the years. Men and women, fictional and real, famous or unknown, these people have inspired me. They have made me try harder, reach further, dig my feet in when the world tries to pull me off the edge.
I want to surpass my heroes. I want to dig in deeper, fight harder, be smarter. I want to fight like my life is too short to care about what people think of me. I want to sing when I feel a song in my soul, I want to write the words that buzz in my fingers, I want to tell people I love them without reserve or “only when”s.
I want to do all these things, and I try to do them, but the fact remains that I get scared.
This life feels long to me. The songs too awkward, the people too broken, the words too hard.
But the truth is, this life isn’t long. And I can’t do the hard things. But He can, so I don’t need to be strong. I am weak, I know this, but if God is strong, then I can be too.
Somehow, it’s hard to remember this.
It’s hard to sing when you sometimes forget the tune and your voice wavers.
It’s hard to write when the words don’t flow and things don’t make sense, when the plot doesn’t come together and the characters don’t seem genuine.
It’s hard to tell people you love them when you don’t always feel like you do. When they do things that you don’t love and it’s hard to remember to see the person and not the filth they are smearing on themselves.
The things we want to do, need to do, are hard.
But I hope I will do them. Today and tomorrow and the next day. The next week. This year. Next year.
And at the end of my life, I hope I will stand before my Maker, my first and last Hero, and look him in the eyes as my knees shake and tremble because my inspiration, the comforter of my soul, is standing in front of me. I hope that while I stand in front of him, my mouth dry and a grin on my face, that I will force out the words “I did my best with what you gave me.” That I will mean them. That then, the words will tumble and I will tell my Father what I did.
I wrote the words that you put into my soul. I sang the songs that you handed me to sing. I loved the people you put into my life. I followed in your footsteps.
This is what I want to be able to say.
All of my heroes are fighters.
I hope I will be one too.
I want to fight to write the words that He’s given me, to sing the songs that play on repeat in my heart, to love everyone with open arms.
This is my heart, and it is many of yours. So let’s fight for this.
May the grace and strength of God allow us to do so.
Who are your heroes? What do you want to say at the end of your life?